Corpse Wars talks mastication and cooking with Conor Mertens, Head Chef of Hillside Kitchen and Cellar in Wellington, who shares a little about his culinary journey from New Zealand to Tokyo and back home again, and his passion for great food.
CW: Hi Conor. Tell us a little about yourself, where are you from and what you do?
C: I’m a cook from auckland who has just spent a year in Tokyo and settled into a head chef role in Wellington at Hillside kitchen and cellar.
CW: What got you into the kitchen? Why chef?
C: It was kind of an accident, I went to chef school with the intent of learning to cook better at home. Something just clicked while i was studying and as a result here we are.
CW: Where have you worked in the past?
C: Bowmans which is now closed, I did a short stint at Peach Pitt on K Road then in Tokyo I worked at a place called Tirpse and Jimbocho Den and now I’m at Hillside.
CW: You’ve been working overseas, tell me about that experience.
C: Each place I worked varied a lot. But I can say going into a kitchen where no one speaks the same language as you is pretty intense. Generally speaking I was treated a lot better in the high end kitchens that the more casual place I worked. Not to say I was ever treated badly but I was on foreigner wage (less than all other full timers) and some comments customers made at seeing a foreigner were pretty stink (once i could understand them) it was fucking cool as shit working with some of the people I worked with just ridiculous talent and knowledge. I’ve never felt so inadequate in a good way.
CW: What food do you enjoy cooking at home?
C: Bastardised sichuan food. Hot and numb. Also cup noodles
CW: What food makes you sad?
C: Microwaved rice CW: Yeah, good call on that. It’s a food sin.
CW: What was the your first big cooking achievement? The dish that made you want to be a chef? The dish that defined you and why?
C: I think my first big thing in the industry for me was when Lesley and I got hit up by metro to have our pop up featured as a 4 page spread. That was pretty surreal. I didn’t know I wanted to be a chef till half way through culinary school. I feel like the dish that defines me has’nt happened yet. I have made a lot of dishes that have come out that hint at where I want to be food wise but I’m always growing and learning so I don’t want to be defined yet.
CW: Did you have a great cook in your family? If so tell me about them
C: Not really, but I was always encouraged to cook growing up. Don’t get me wrong my family can cook but there were know stand out culinary hard-outs. But mum put up a mean roast lamb.
CW: Fondest childhood meal
C: Mac n cheese
CW: Who would you most like to meet and why?
C: Danny Bowein. I’d take him out to eat shit Chinese food, i’d be too nervous to cook. Dude’s the humble genius I aspire to.
CW: Worst shift you ever had. What happened?
C: I don’t have a worst. Just sometimes shit goes wrong or your staff levels are low and it sucks, but you just gotta do what you can to make it work
CW: Chefs are known for having notorious tempers, do you have a bad temper when the pressure is on in the kitchen? Do you throw your toys?
C: I used to, but it’s not worth it. Most people don’t react well to being called a cunt or having shit biffed at them. Also I feel the better organised you are as a head chef the less room there is for others to fuck you off as much.
CW: What are the worst customer dish modifications. Mods/Requests you loathe? C: Lamb well done, no garnish and tomato sauce on the side. That was a full grown ass woman too.
CW: Tokyo Fish Market – Did you go there, what did you think?
C: Yeah dude it was fucking cool, I went with one of my old chefs from over there so we got to go all of the places you cant normally get. Hooned the biggest oysters I’ve ever seen and ate some 2 year old blowfish roe.
CW: Consumerism: Genetically Modified Produce, corn force-fed cows, hormone pumped chickens, overfished tuna, processed food – how do you feel about the world’s ever increasing demand for ‘perfect food’ and huge quantities of food? Organic? Low Fat vs Full Fat and skyrocketing sugar in processed foods. What are your thoughts?
C: I think people care to much about getting what they want when they want it. Food is seasonal, if you want summer food in winter preserve it, pickle it make a sauce. Dont buy it imported or mass produced shit out of season the flavour wont be as good. Be sustainable, try eat by catch seafood and less popular fish, with meat free range is best obviously, it’s a no brainer if its happy it tastes better and if its local its travelled less. Support small local businesses yo
CW: Which chefs inspire you the most?
C: Keiichi Terada-my first head chef in Japan and I got a second chance to work with him just before I came back too. He’s the man, so dedicated and just lovely guy.
Asher Boote- my current executive chef and boss. He’s just as crazy as me but has a business mind and can cook most people under the table. Danny Bowein – he pretty much made me realise you dont have to always cook fine dining to be the man at tasty food. But use your back ground in fine dining to make delicious shit everyone can get amongst.
CW: What makes a great leader in the kitchen?
C: Foresight and a calm but authoritative temperament
CW: Give us a recipe of your choice and tell us why you picked this:
C: Old bay mac n cheese. this aint no fancy recipe but i eat it about 4 nights a week so it is relevant:
Boil macaroni , grated fuck tonne of cheese strain pasta, stir in cheese with generous amounts of old bay and Sriracha.
Katsuo Dashi:
Bring about 4 litres of water to the boil throw in 4 handfuls of katsuobushi and turn off the heat, steep for 10 mins and strain. Season with usukuchi soy sauce, mineral salt and a little mirin. It is the smell of home and comfort for me and always will be.
CW: Weirdest food you ever seen eaten/served/somewhere in your travels?
C: Either turtle, whale or fermented fish guts. Whale tasted average, turtle was mean as, and the fish guts had a time and a place. I also ate horse but thats not too weird.
CW: You could travel anywhere and learn a cuisine for a year – where would you go and why?
C: Chengdu, China. Sichuan food rules.
CW: Do you think people have misconceptions about hospitality workers?
C: Yeah, then again a lot of those misconceptions have been accurate at some point. I really think people should start considering being a waiter as a career in this country though.
CW: Do you think customers are becoming unreasonably more demanding?
C: I think it depends on the customer, a lot of people I’ve encountered since being back have been the complete opposite but the could be indicative of where I’m working.
CW: Reviews and platforms- Everyday a new platform is launched for the general public to be the reviewer. I believe just because you can eat doesn’t mean you have a great palette or an understanding of food? what do you think?
C: I think people can say what they want but i also think other people should take that with a grain of salt. If you read a review by someone who isn’t a reviewer don’t take it as gospel. Everyones palate is different.
CW: Most famous person you’ve served/cooked for?
C: Sous chef from noma, probably a bunch of famous japanese people I didn’t recognise too.
CW: What meal would you eat on death row?
C: Stank ass blue cheese, fried chicken and a bowl of Hasegawa San’s turtle soup.
CW: What food/dish would you most like to try?
C: It’s hard to say, I want to try bear again cause I’ve only had it tinned.
CW: New Zealand Restaurants/Cafes/Chefs you rate and why?
C: Sid from sidart, because, have you eaten his food? Hes a genius. I’d actually love to do a decent stage with him but i just don’t have time atm. Des from Clooney, his food is just so on point and I’ve met a few people who have worked under him and they have all come out as amazing chefs. Carlos Atkinson, he was my mentor for over 3 years and taught me my bones. He is doing some really high quality catering atm. Orphans kitchen – they are just doing a real good job of hitting a nice affordable price for some of the best and most interesting food in auckland. Rad drinks list too. Duke Carvells – independence pie, sliders, bone marrow.
CW: Desert Island – 5 ingredients to live off until your sunstroked death – What are they?
C: A whole pig, salt, beer, lagavulan 16 year and flour.
CW: Finish this sentence: The hardest thing about working in hospo is the hours.
CW: What’s in your fridge at home right now?
C: Beer, cheese, milk and butter. Haha.
CW: Would you/have you eaten Ortolan?
C: I have not and I want to real bad.
CW: Finish this sentence: I would never eat pine nuts
CW: Best music to cook to?
C: Biggie-ready to die, burning love – rotten thing to say, sza – z, ratking – so it goes, perturber – i am the night
CW:Favourite Movies of all time?
C: Top Gun, Blade Runner, Judge Dredd
CW: Aside from food what are you into?
C: I like reading and I have a pretty decent vinyl collection, oh and my wife and I collect skulls and taxidermy stuff.
CW:Proudest life achievement?
C: Tricking rosie into marrying me.
CW: What’s it like being home?
C: Weird as fuck, cause I’ve never lived in wellington before but I’m back in New Zealand. I miss Tokyo heaps but wellingtons shaping up to be pretty cool too.
CW: What would you change about New Zealand?
C: A lot
CW: What do you hope to do next?
C: Well work at hillside, I’m going to keep my pop up with Lesley from Cassia – Soy – going, I want to look at getting someone in wellington to work with on pop ups too. Just stay busy as fuck.
Thanks Conor!
CORPSE WARS 